Friday, November 14, 2008
Did you fart? Cause you blow me away
"Do you like me? Circle yes or no"
Wsup baby? I know you have to be tired, cuz you’ve been running thru my mind all day
"Hey Girl / Sweetheart / Lightskin!"
"Can I have a chance?"
"You keep staring....would your man like that if he knew?"
"Can I have your pussy?"
"Sorry, I thought you were mature enough to handle adult situations...."
"I'm not looking for anything serious"
"What else you got?"
"Where your friends at?"
"I've never done this before..." <=== 1 of my favs
"What makes you any different than the next chick??"
"Let me come thru and rub your feet"
"Yea, I can cook" <=== another classic
If its grass on the field let's play ball
Thursday, November 6, 2008
For all of my other friends that took time to get a futon, or a shelf system from ikea I salute you, cuz this nygga is awful....
My Name is Bruce Wayne & I Approved this message!
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
BLACK PEOPLE! WTF! Last Night Fox 5 gave us a chance to show our delight in the election decision and what did we do...FUQQ IT UP! I ain't never seen so many skinny jeans, obama t-shirts, or big girls modeling on the runway of U street than last night.. although it was good that we won, I had to cut it off just because I was scared someone was gonna do some dumb shyt... the funny part is I wonder how many of the coons on tv actually voted yesterday. It's ok to be proud people, but don't give anyone a reason to think we put a NIGGER in the white house. Savor the moment and show why America made the right decision by showing all black people aren't coons. We don't have to sambo or soft shoe just because we've achieved another level of success.
There were soo many happy people on the train this am, with only a few tight faces. To the people with the tight faces it's ok to be dissappointed, Black folks have been dissappointed in your decisions for YEARS! We have most of the same needs and desires as you do. So when you see a black person smiling today don't be down, smile at that person and say "Can you teach me some moves?" LMAO! LMAO!
Monday, November 3, 2008
How in the hell can u be that damn dumb? MAVVVVVVERICK! LOL! I'm gonna hope for the best because if Mccain is in office this Jan, I know damn well, I'm bout to be driving a moped because of oil independence! Speaking of Gas, I filled up yesterday for $30, I haven't done that since like 2006. YAY for me right? Ok, I'll be back later.....
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Friday, August 29, 2008
So.... I've been thinking...EVERYONE in the DC urea (lol) knows about Chicken Wings & the sauce that comes with it.... No matter how you spell it.. Mumbo or Mambo Sauce! you know wtf it is.... You know what a carry out is.... and you know Danny's Eddie Leonards, Yums... etc.... I like to try different carry outs, some specialize in subs, some have the better fried rice, some have the better wings, etc... some Mumbo sauce is tangy, some is sweet, some is horrible... but never in my 20 + years of eating mumbo sauce, have I ran into this.....WTF is NUMBLE SauSe!
I mean seriously my Chinese & Korean friends, you run a business, spell shyt correctly! I don't know wtf numble sause is, but I do know I don't want that unknown shyt on my wings... This isn't the 1st time, you've spelled some shyt wrong on your menu's either. CUT THAT SHYT OUT, and stop getting a tude when I bring it to your attention. You always getting mad, $7 or more to use my debit card.. WTF? I don't wanna eat $7 worth of food all the time. And if you gonna make the Lemonade/Ice Tea mix... get a fountain & Ice maker, don't scoop my ice out of a cooler, and pour my shyt from a pitcher... so RUDE!! I've been a faithful customer for years, some of you bytches even transfer from carryout to carryout, I know you was at the danny's on 450 in 2001 -2006 not u at the yums in forestville... u dont think I know you didn't interview for this job? wait, do they interview yall? I know they aint' all related.... Anyway....spell your shyt right, and give me more duck sauce for my rice without frowning.... :-) THANKS!!
I'm eager to watch the GOP this week and see what they talkin bout... I really think Mccain is no longer a factor in this deciding factor in this election, it's gonna come down to Barack & this chick.....
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
Well, I'll be gott dammed! This nygga here, this nygga here! 1st I must say I like t-pain, that dude has taken an overused sound and made it his own, but why must he bam the fuqq out every chance he gets. This is like the 4th video that he has done some outlandish shyt...
They say the way to keep money is to spend it wisely, and I feel that, but if u getting $ and doing videos stop wearing ur fuqqin neighborhood clothes & all these fuqqin top hats... I bet 59/50 saw this nygga comin and gave him some fitted tophats. I say gott damn! Yall remember the video awards or whatever and the nygga had on the Diddy & Mase Solar ring master suit.... yeah this nygga at it again...
I just don't get it, he has one of the tightest houses I've seen on cribs in a while. Eventhough his array of cars included a Ford F650 monster pickup, and a damn SCION! WTF, get that together! But his hat game is killin me, Evilene, the wicked witch of the west would roll over in her grave if she knew one of flying monkey had gone solo, wearing this fuqqery...but once again, I fuqqin blame B.E.T for airing this shyt........
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Now I don't give a damn what yall say, this ain't no epilepsy! Epilepsy don't make u slur ur words do it..... Gott damn, gotta b'more careful
1st, the nygga K-Ci stay with his shirt off, lol... come on young, this nygga look like something bout to bust out his chest. then the nygga JoJo come twirling out the back ground, and then BOOM! laid out.... why they pick up the mic 1st though.... LMAO! This is a sad day in Music man, we need change.....LOL If the dude is really sick, these nyggas must have needed the $, cuz there ain't no way, I'm performing and then just have a seizure, anbd my BROTHER keeps the party going! oh Hell Nah, i would kicked the shyt outta him, with one of them Hightek boots they used to wear. Wait who was the dude that just walked out and picked up the mic though. lol.....
Monday, August 25, 2008
Now onto Jennifer Hudson, I told yall before BBW's are in full effect, and I guess she'd be classified as midsize. but what the fuqq is her video about? She has gone from a sluefoot backup singer in dreamgirls to a 2 bit gutter butt trollip walkin thru an alley with her back pussy showing. LOL! Dammit! Nah but seriously, I'm just trying to understand, what in the hell she's doing, talking bout I don't like living under your spotlight.... um.... huh! There's no way she's goin moer than double wood with her cd, unless she get diddy to make a reality show about her.
Videos have gone way down......last but not least....My main homie Soulja Boy & ARAB got a new video... DONK! LMAO LMAO LMAO! LMAO! Now why in the holy hell did anyone approve this video for viewing. There is nothing promising in this video, NOTHING! Last time a donk only went with the ass, not the entire body.. no offense to BBWs if that's what you like, but gott damn!
I'm boycotting B.E.T from now until next monday so they can get their act together.
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
China has been on a rampage to get all these medals... Michael phelps aka Mr. half man half dolphin shut all shyt down in the pool. USA basketball has been on fire. but GYMNASTICS son! LMAO! wtf? (this is where the blog goes tumbling quickly down hill)
Here's my top list of problems with men's & women's gymnastics....
1) Jumping on a trampoline is not an olympic sport, no matter how creative you are
b) How can you look at yourself in the mirror as a man after completing the floor exercise with the ribbon and shyt... lol.! you just did a cartwheel, a summersalt, 2 tuck n rolls n some white tights... I wonder what u do during the off season.....
3) China know damn well that little bytch ain't 7 yrs old. cut that out....
D) Why do yall clap when the chicks fall off the balance beams, lol... they apparently did something wrong.. the fall i saw last night was horrible, I laughed, they clapped. I mean come on. that's just mean.... they know they fuqqed up.....yall giving false hope.....
I'm just ready for this shyt to go off, The media has cised so many of our athletes only for them to get toasted in alot of events.. we all know gay men from USA, can't beat straight men from jamaica in running... I mean come on people, maybe sewing, dressing, or trance dancing, but not running. this is jamaica people... they run for fun.... the dude bolt from jamaica was lookin back with his shoes untied..... how the fuqq are yall the fastest and he way in front of yall during a race....the olympics should be cut down to 3 days, with the losers being killed in the closing ceremony. :-) I know that was kind of extra, but damn.... all this crying on national tv is wack... only one dude went hard, no homo...
The dude who threw him bronze medal down after wrestling, was like fuqq this, I came for gold. LMAO! I'd be mad too, no once wants an 8th place ribbon for anything...you can't even pawn a bronze medal.. u just carrying a supersized penny around your neck, lol.... LOSER
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
That's the question I kept asking myself as I sat thru my regular dentist visit. I usually love the dentist, I never have cavities and my oral hygiene is always up to par. Today, my dentist wasn't there and I since I was just there for a regular cleaning, I went to his associate.
so I'm layin there in the seat, checking emails on my phone and he walks in. he already has the mask on, and we exchange salutations. he puts the suction thing in my mouth.. (NO HOMO, OH MY) LOL and begins the cleaning..... and then out of no where, something hits my nostrils....
WTF!!!! This nygga breath is on fire. Smelled like he ate Jack & The Shytstalk! OH MY! I close my eye and try to go to my happy place, cuz I know for the next 20 mins, I'm not gonna be happy.
Then he starts talking, now keep in mind, this dude has on a mask.... meaning it should be hitting him in the nostrils too....
What do you do when your DENTIST has Hallotosis (sp?) Man, I was so blown.... here I am taking advice from a nygga whose breath smelled like day old moose snot, and chipotle black n milds..
My day can only get better, RIGHT? LOL
Monday, July 28, 2008
I mean seriously, if youngin can stand, then youngin can walk. this little boy will probably grow up to live with his mother, sisters, brothers, cousins, nieces nephews, dad, & grand parents in a 3 bd room over in mt pleasant. once again, I blame the parents, not only is there no laundry associated with the cart, but they going on an excursion. LOL! atleast they weren't my people.
Thursday, July 17, 2008
Friday, July 11, 2008
So yeah EVERYDAY something new goes on during my train ride to or from largo station. Today was no different.... 1st there was the albino guy who stood about 6'8 with light purple pants on (couldn't get a good pic of that) but right after him stood the 6'3 female with the pink dress, black 4" heels, & a very special piece of flare! Her house arrest ankle Bracelet......
Now, I've never been on house arrest, nor have I ever worn heels and a dress, but I don't think they go together. this chick never moved from that spot, nor did she notice, myself or the woman in front of me, taking pics of her as we read our newspaper and chatted about the sights on the train.
Would pants or maybe even a nice pair of slacks been more appropriate, or did she really see the need to let us know, she's a G! I don't know but dammit, we got to be more careful.......LOL!
Wednesday, July 9, 2008
Everyone has been subjected to some lame azz dude/chick and come on lines..... this has to go down as the lamest shyt ever. my question to you is..................
what's the lamest shyt you've ever heard......we've all given our number to someone we thought was harmless and next thing you know they hittin you with the cable guy..... you know the cable guy routine.
Call # 1 "hey it's me, met you the other day, thought you were cute, give me a call"
Call #2 (7 mins later) "hey it's me again, thought u called, I was in the bathroom, call me back"
Call #3 (4 mins after call # 2) "Hey, whatcha doin, call me back"
shyt now that i think about it, this lonely fuqqer may have even been you once a upon a time on the self esteem hwy. :-) either way, let's talk about it......LOL
Tuesday, July 8, 2008
Ladies, I know some of yall goin commando these days, shyt i commend you, if I could freeball everyday i would. But dammit... that's unacceptable. How would you like if I'm sitting on the train, and my whole package is on one side of my slacks......not fuqqin cute is it? exactly! then close ya twats.......
Thursday, July 3, 2008
Take them tight-ass fuckin' clothes off
That shit ain't gangsta, nigga
We don't wear tight clothes . . . we let it hang!
. . . Shirt extra-small and you six feet tall
Lookin' like you got your pants off a Ken doll
Silk speedo cheetah-print Superman drawers . . .
. . . And what the fuck is this shit?
Rude boy rockin' Prada
Rhinestones on his collar
Cowboy belt buckle with a chain like a rocker
You forgot you was Rasta
You need to puff on the ganja. . . .
LMAO! these nyggas is SERIOUS about this...I just wanted to know why....I mean seriously tight ass jeans isn't hot, why a nygga wanna wear some sergios or some succos! lol..... come on slim...... I don't know any women who enjoy yeast infections, so why as a guy would you want to lower ur sperk count, by wearing some jeans that push your nuts up in ur stomach.... got people on the train looking at you, and instantly bustin out signing FALSETTO! he like OOOH OOOH BABY! IIII IIII III IIIII OOOH!
Help me understand what is so pleasing about this.... I was watching them coon ass BET Awards, and noticed even Rick Ross, ol chef lookin ass had his pants saggin! WTF? nygga u 310 lbs easy, how ur pants saggin? from boys to men, jeans were made to be in the following sizes....REGULAR, HUSKY, & BAGGY (MAYBE RELAXED)
if you see a nygga in the store buying some skinny, slim, straight leg, boot cut, or need I dare say LOW RISE jeans! PLEASE monkey stomp his punk ass.....I blame these video nyggas man, and the parents who allow they kids to watch these videos and buy these clothes....
My momma would've straight punched me in the face if my clothes were too tight, the most I think any NORMAL dude my age has ever done as a child is MAYBE wear some high waters.... (next fashion blog will include nyggas in the gov't wearing high water slacks...:-/..) fellas stay away from these dudes wearing these lycra spandex jeans n shyt.....
Guy..... so, how long have you been single
That right there let me know they aren’t a couple, and this might be the infamous ice breaker lunch date. I continue to watch the tv, and observe the conversation. it immediately goes horribly wrong.. He begins to lay it on thick, now I know alot of women want a man to be honest, but this dude was brutal. Well I’ve been single for a few months. I’m ready to settle down, meet a nice woman *like You* and go out, go to church, enjoy each other, etc.... the dude was putting in work, which I commend, but it gets deeper. They exchange conversation, and he’s like I wanna get married, I’m ready to get married and settle down. Meet a nice girl *like you*.. yeah he plugging her all thru the conversation. so he continues. Have u ever been married? she say no... he says i’ve been married 4 times. (LMAO) and here’s where it gets interesting.
yeah I’ve been thru alot of different types of women, alcoholics, drugs, yeah I been clean for one year. but my 2nd ex wife she just likes to drink, she’s an alcoholic now :-/ and my 4th ex wife, she just wants to fuqq. i gotta be married to a nice woman *like you* before i have sex. the dude is just buggin from there on. i’m tryin to keep a straight face, because the lady has already increased her speed in finishing her food and is beginning to try and pack up to get away from this dude. he was like I don’t wanna have sex without being married. I wanna get with a nice woman from NC like you and then get married and have sex. so they continue talking and he says "what’s ur name again?" LMAO LMAO! LMAO! he sealed the deal right there, because she got up shaking her head.
NOW.......I wanna know....where do you set your boundaries for the 1st date and the conversation? I firmly believe most people send their representative for the 1st few dates. What does that mean, you ask? you know.... you’re the person you think that male or female wants you to be....u say all the right things, do all the right things, and basically don’t’ give them the part of you that let’s them know you’re a jerk or a complete bytch. ( no offense ladies) but seriously why do some folks go over board on dates.. I’m a true believer in just being yourself. I’ll tell anyone, I’m a great guy on paper, shyt I’m a great guy period, but I know I’m moody as hell, and sometimes I just wanna be left alone( I don’t usually say all of this this at first, but u get the idea). we all have issues, some more than others but in the end that’s what life is about, there are no perfect people, but there are people who strive to be perfect. Which one are you?
Now I'm not one for boundaries because I believe I can function quite well in any situation, that is presented to me, because of other life sitatuations i've been involved in, I've been given the ability to adapt to just about everything.
BUT! This question came up......
Can you SERIOUSLY date, marry, and/or be with someone who is FAR less Educated than you?
Now a DEGREE doesn't quite mean you're educated, it just means you were able to articulate your understanding of some knowledge that was presented to you at a certain time. but as a Ph.D Candidate, I wonder if I could truly be happy with someone with a G.E.D... This situation has never presented itself to me, but i wanna know your thoughts on it.
LOL, This just in........
IF they are educated and STILL act pretty ignorant, do you think its worth giving them a shot?
Do dumb dudes/chicks turn you on? or piss you off?
Ladies, what you rather? the dude who can fuqq you ALL the time, but it's NOT that great, and you constantly have to put his dick back in, or make provisions to keep it up, and keep you happy.
or do you take the guy that CONSISTENTLY makes ur toes curl, makes u say and do shyt you've never done, but it's only once or twice a week.
Fellas, do u holla at the youngin, with the graveyard spray starch pussy, u know the one who just lays there and let's you bang her out and all she does is lay stiff but u can hit it 24/7
or do u take the woman with the completely off the wall sex... the chick that makes u bust that instant porn nut. the one who will sck ur dick from the back, and make u say her name.. BUT she's only able to give you some once or twice a week...
MAKE A CHOICE!!!!
there's nothing worse than receiving some very good sloppy top top, and then right when u bout to bust off...she keeps going, but literally spits on you. wtf? *hahtooo* (spit sound) LOL..... if you nasty enough to keep going when it's cummin, u damn sure better hold that shyt til u get in the bathroom... (thanks B, lol)
Fellas, if you fortunate to make a woman cum from oral, spit it out on her, lol.... payback is a bytch
ladies...if you do it... how do you want your man's legs? lol....
fellas, for those of you who arent' sexually deprived.. if a chick is attempting to toss your salad? what are you gonna do? now I know dudes on myspace be fakin like shyt, so if you wanna just send me a note that's kool too. but seriously here are the 3 choices of which were in a conversation i've had.
legs up like a girl...(like little kids do when they rollin around) or like a girl may do if u hitting it right
legs up but bent (feet still on the bed)
on your stomach
and on ur hands and knees.
NOW, my biggest biggest issue is, I can't feel vulnerable during sex.. NEVER... so atleast 3 of those options are out for me...
I need to know your opinons and thought of chicks who toss salads. and fellas if u done ate some pussy, and the chick was a keeper, u done probably licked her ass, so this isn't time for faking.
What lengths have you gone through to get in a man or woman's pants?
When I ask this question, I'm talkin what have you done, LITERALLY!
I can think on one occasion, I was about to get it in with someone and she had a belt with a fastener I just couldn't get off, I mean no matter how hard i tried this shyt would not open, after a while, i was starting to lose focus, and getting frustrated. her only response was "if you want it bad enough, you'll get it, and I had to literally CUT her belt off....LOL! Lookin back on the occurrence the girl was really cool about it, and we laughed about the situation, but needless to say, I got it! LOL
So I ask YOU....what things have you done, MEN & WOMEN to get in the other person's pants?
How "freaky" do we want our mates to be?
Now everyone has a different version of the word "freak", and that's kool, but what is too much? I'm not into teaching in the bedroom, but I don't want someone who can teach me shyt either... have you ever been surprised by the thing your mate was willing to do to you? for example... u ever had a woman try to toss your salad OUT the blue? LOL or maybe she was a little too aggressive in tellin u where she wanted that nut that time...LOL
what about movies? are couple still making sex fun, by filming? personally I like to watch anyway, so i'm into mirrors, pics, and film... but that may be too much for folks.. I don't know. we all want ladies, in the street and freaks in the bed... but where does that freak line turn into potential smut...
Ladies.....what are you doing to make the sex better? are you being freaky? is ur man willing to try this and that?
Fellaz...what are you doing? you know, just by saying things differently in bed, u can change an entire NORMAL session...
Lemme hear what yall got to say