Friday, March 27, 2009

The Blanket With Sleeves......FOR REAL SON!!!!

Sooo this am, I'm riding the train, and as the weather gets nicer more and more tourists are out and about in the DMV... I decided I wanted some leg room so i went all the way to the last car, and what do I see....The Infamous SNUGGIE!!!!





Anyone who has a Blackberry curve knows you can't try and be low key and take pics because the shutter sound can't be cut off :-( so needless to say I didn't take one.. but I digress

WTF America.....A blanket with sleeves son...and you coons wanna buy it... yall are really gonna let someone get recession proof over a blanket with 2 holes cut in it? you must have also bought the wonderful......





Anyway...seriously my granny had a similar idea back when I was a kid, it was simple.. put on some fuqqin clothes.... DUH! You weren't cutting no holes in her blanket... and you damn sure better not have left the blanket on the couch... this bamma sitting here look like


which I wanted to be one when I was younger but that's another blog for another group of readers.... until the next time....stay classy DMV!!

When music was real...........

I'm tired of the radio playing strange new hits such as the stanky leg, and turn my swag on.....what happened to good ol fashioned crooning....I miss the day of my folks playing OLD SCHOOL music....so while searching my daily sites, I ran across this young balladeer...(DING)

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Turn Your Swag On........Or Not!!!!

My people what in the holy fuqq are you doing? I blame anyone who wears skinny jeans, big name belts, colorful shirts, and uses a boost mobile for this shyt getting air time.......



I've never been labeled a hater so please don't get it twisted, THIS SHYT IS FUQQIN WACK!! If I hear another kid on the train singin this shyt while stanky legg'n i'm gonna lose my damn mind....whatever happened to real rap...fuqq that what happened to hip-hop......this the type of music u can't beef over..this shyt will not get you ambushed in the lobby of a studio, or get you shot in a drive by, but this shyt will get you punched in the face if I hear you singing it... Soulja Boy huh? Get The Hell On......

Have you done your taxes yet?

Well if not, take your w2's down to this fuqqery spot.......I know we're in a recession but gott damn black people......

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Why I'm Probably Not Gonna Ever Lose Weight in Gold's Gym

Well Well Fuqqin Well......I'm back...I know, I know, I said I was back a few months. My demise has been greatly exaggerated..... Anyway, a lot has been going on with me over the last few months, but either I don’t' remember it, or it's not enough to post about... BUT...I do have something.....I've gained a significant amount of weight since I don’t' know.....last year...and um...although, I can still fit all of my clothes...I've recently taken on the term of FAT BOY by some of my friends... Or Portis' stunt double etc.....FYI...all of you can kiss my entire ass...LOL so I decided GOTT DAMMIT enough is enough, picked up my gym bag and headed off to Gold's Gym....I've got a Govt discount and a membership is $15 monthly...so Yesterday was my 1st day back in the gym...I stroll in and headed to the locker room....as I just clear the locker room entryway...who do I see: Mr. I'm Not ghey, Mr. I'm Obese but I'm trying, Mr. I'm One Stamp away from winning the Publishers Clearing House aka Blue from Old school....

Immediately I know this is going to be a long hour.......

Anyway, I get to an open locker, change and head out to begin my workout....

I walk over to the treadmill.....got to get the heartbeat elevated and burn off a few calories to warm up.....I look over and Mr. I'm not ghey is on the elliptical machine.... now normally I guess that's cool... but something just seemed wrong.. He didn't seem to be focused.... his attention was off to the left... I continue running a little while longer and I see Mr. I'm obese but I'm trying working with the personal trainer... YEAH MAN, good for you. I salute you... Ok so cardio is done, and I walk over to begin my upper body workout... arms, back, chest, etc....Mr. Obese gets off the exercise mat, damn near in tears....(this could be interesting) he's exhausted I mean...She works hard for the money, flash dance soundtrack type of exhausted...His trainer who just happens to be 1/8 of his size and looks like she hasn't eaten a carb in 6 years says.... come on SUCK it up....at that EXACT moment...Mr. I'm not ghey pops out of no where like the butler on Mr. Deeds.... Just watching this Bammas crouch.....LOL! So I move to the next set of equipment, times goes on....and my workout is now done, I'm heading back to the locker room.... As soon as I walk in... Mr Obese Walks in about 2 mins behind me. then it happens... this nygga begins to get fully undressed and just walk around...weighing himself... he gets off the scale and proceed to take his fat ass in the Sauna (still naked) followed by ...........you guessed it......Mr. I'm not ghey....:-/ so by now, I’m thinking it's a sausage fest in here, fuqq the shower today, and get ur ass back to the office... I turn to open my locker and who the fuqq is in front of me...BLUE....his old 87 yr old ass butt ass naked eating an apple.... R U FUQQIN SERIOUS MAN! Fuqq my life....

I'm ok with a little male locker room chat but dammit don't have ur sack out asking me about AIG and the bailout....I'm not going to answer......Fellas get it together...I'm bout to invest in my boys bowflex or something...if it's like this during the winter, summer time going to be an all cockfest, and I'm giving my ticket back :-( Fuqq working out